I almost always try to post something on my birthday. This year coincided with my son's high school graduation; it made for quite the weekend.

I was up early on the 30th in order to arrive early enough to play chauffeur for my step son Jimmy, his girlfriend and John's girlfriend's mother and brother. Not that I minded but it meant getting up at 5AM. This will be an important fact as the weekend goes on.

It was nice to have interaction again with Jimmy. He has had a tough adolescence and I always feel as thought I carry part of the guilt due to what happened to my marriage to his mother. We had the opportunity during the day to talk some of that out.

I sat with my ex and the rest of the family which gave her and I time to talk. We talked, laughed and gossiped about family and friends. It is good to know that we can be friends after all we have been through.

And then there was the star of the day, John. Each move he made during the ceremony I flashed back to what I was thinking and feeling 29 years ago. As if it were yesterday, I could see and hear everything around me at the Warwick Musical Theater. The excited nervousness of each conversation around me. The way we looked at each other almost as if it were the last time. The smug smile I had on my face as I pulled my diploma from Ed Miley's hands, walked a few steps, crouched down in a "Chorale victory - Yessss" and then leapt over the three steps off the stage in a single bound.

15 years earlier, as Jimmy went off to his first day at school, me, John and their mother stood on the curb watching him drive off for his first day of school. My ex was weeping while I smiled at waved goodbye looking forward to 6 hours of peace and quiet. Now, I was the weeping parent as my son strode across the stage and took his diploma.

Afterwards there was a party where he was piled on with gifts. We had originally planned on heading off for our next day at Disney but we ended up at a 10:30 showing of "Up". Never one to miss seeing a Pixar movie, I had no problem with the change in plans. Not even considering that I had been up since 5AM. It was until just recently, when I went to see the movie again, that I realized that I had fallen asleep not 15 minutes into the movie. John swears I didn't snore.

We got to my place in Jensen Beach around 2AM and got as much sleep as we could for our next day at Disney. More on that in tomorrow's post.

Just some random thoughts. Sorry, no big updates yet.

I'm really tired of Michael Jackson being lionized and almost deified. Have we forgotten what happened in 1988? A friend of mine reminded me that "He was cleaed of all charges. They never proved he did anything"

My answer:
"Yeah, and I've never eaten a cheesburger!"

She had no answer to that.

I didn't get to see Trek in IMAX. They had "Transformers" instead. There was no way in hell I was going to pay $10 for "Transformers". I will gladly use one of my free passes to see the effects and Megan Fox on the big screen or just wait till it hits Netflix and I've finished my "Really Bad Bruce Willis Movie" Movie Marathon before I watch it. Maybe JJ Abhams can go a She-Ra re-boot next!

I did go see "UP"in 3-D. Amazing! Pixar continues to be the gold stabndard when it comes to CGI moves and now for 3-D as well.

And, I owe my son an apology. After his graduation we went to see "Up". This was after being up since 5AM and in a dark room with comfortable seating. I was there with John, his friends, girlfriend and her mother. After watching the movie again at a show where I was well rested all I can say is...I hope I didn't snore at all.

Finally, am I the only one who is feaked out the Bernie Madoff looks like Washington?

That's right; I've been lapse in posting again. A lot has happened in the past two months. Julie came back into my life. I've moved. John graduated and is enlisted in the Navy. Julie dumped me. I was offline for about two weeks.

What? Julie?! Last thing I had posted here she was in Michigan and our relationship was already a thing of the past. I could get heavily into that but I'll save that for another post. OK, maybe a couple of posts.

First, let me tell you about two phone calls I received today.

Today is Father's Day and my son called me. While that may not seem like a big deal the fact that my son did this, the fact that I have seen more birthdays and Fathers Days than me and my father is significant. My father didn't live to see me graduate. Every day I have with him from here on are virgin territory for me as a father. I am trying to walk that line between being parent and best friend. I think it's going pretty good so far. As things like a job and girlfriend put me lower on his list of things to do I worry that time and distance will erode our relationship. But that all melts away the moment I get a phone call or text from him.

And I love getting text messages from him. They a random and silly. He will send me a joke. Tell me about a movie or TV show he is watching. It is the intimacy of it that I love. To know he has taken the time to tap out a message and the thought it takes to be brief and right to the point shows that I do mean something to him.

Yeah, I think I'm doing OK so far and look forward to what each new day brings.

There is an old friend of mine, Buddy, who I have not been in touch with since moving down here. Through a mutual friend we were finally able to get in touch with each other. For the past few years we have been a mere few hours from each other. Our history goes back to High School and a connection of fandom and that our fathers worked together in the police department. Time and miles do their damage and it is always good to reconnect. We've emailed a couple times and talked on the phone making plans to try to meet up. Then, today, I got a call from him out of the blue.

He was going through a rough patch as life gave him a few major kicks in the nards and he was feeling down. He said that he called me, not to bitch and moan about the bad stuff he was going through, because he knew that I would be able to cheer him up. He said that through all the years he knew me and all of the shit storms I had been through that I has the ability to come through it with a smile and that he admired me for it.

I was floored.

For all the Hallmark sentimentality I say I live by I have never before have someone turned it back on me. People in my life do seem to acknowledge that they enjoy me being in their lives and that I add something to our relationship I have never had someone like him actually say something like he did. It humbled me and made me feel very good.

To out this in a Hallmark kind of mode; do just like Buddy did. Take time to tell those people in your life how much they mean to you. It might just improve their day.

Today I almost died.

Seriously.

Well...as with anything involving me, there was a humorous turn to the whole thing; but, yes....I almost died today.

I was just taking the second bite of a leftover St. Patrick's Day corned beef sandwich when I felt a chunk of meat slide past my tongue and down my throat. Covered in mustard and fatty grease I figured it would happily slosh its way to my stomach.

But it didn't.

I felt it stop just behind my Adam's Apple. I swallowed once, then again a little harder. Nothing happened. I felt sweat break out immediately and a pounding headache. It was just past the epiglottis and in the esophagus; so, I could breathe although in gagging breaths. Without a word to my friend sitting with me I bolted out the door to the mens' room. I tried dislodging it myself. Still, no luck.

My next thought was that I needed help in dislodging it and security was the next best chance. You'd have to know what some of our security team looks like to really appreciate the added panic this brought. All the way there I kept praying I would get one of the guards capable enough to use the Heimlich Maneuver on me and not one of the guards whose highest level of physical exertion was pushing a pen. To my relief I got to the security desk to find the 6 foot tall frame of our large and very healthy young black security guard.

Remembering what I had learned about the Heimlich I stood in front of the desk making the choking handsign; flailing my hands back and forth from my throat.

"Hey, Jack. What's up?" He asked, not even really looking up from his desk.

"Choking!" I croaked.

"Who?"

"ME!"

Since I didn't want to make a mess on the lobby floor I went out the door with the guard behind me. As I braced myself he wrapped his arms around me and placed his balled fist below my sternum.

Knowing the force he would have to exert, just as he tightened his hug around me he leaned over and asked, "You ready?" I nodded and with what seemed like no effort on his part I was lifted almost a half foot off the ground. Because the food was past the tracheae the forced air did nothing to move the blockage.

"Go to the clinic and I'll call 911!"

I made it to the clinic and they rushed me into an exam room. First they tried a few blows to my back; no luck. Then one of the nurses there handed me a cup of water. I was afraid that if I tried that a gag reflex could force the meat up and block of my airway. With the paramedics en route I decided to wait for the guys with the tools to take care of it more effectively. I took deep, slow breaths and tried to calm myself; there was no need to let panic take over. I was breathing which beat the alternative.

In the time it took the paramedics to arrive the recptionist, a friend of mine, had pulled my chart. She looked at it and said, Jack, it says here that you're 44. That isn't right, is it?"

The nurse took a look over her shoulder and said, "Look at his date of birth. He's 46; almost 47......well," With a wink "Maybe!"

I had a life threatening piece of meat stuck in my throat and she was making jokes!

Just as the paramedics stepped through the front door of the clinic I felt the piece of meat slip loose and I could breathe easily again. They didn't even have to touch me. Fifteen minuets of panic and pain; not the best way to spend a lunch break but, again, it did beat the alternative.

A friend of mine and I were talking about it afterwards and I asked, "Of all the 2,000 that work there would it have been really sad or really funny that I would die on the job?!"

Neither of us could really answer it!

Recently, I had to attend and was pall bearer at the funeral for the parent of a friend. We were close and was a very sad occasion. Added to that, it was a Catholic service. For those who have never had to endure one, a Catholic funeral almost makes you envy the dead person.

In the funeral procession from the church to the cemetery I called my friend Bismo. We have long had a connection of Blues music and "The Blues Brothers. I asked him to enter into the same agreement John Belushi and Danny Ackroyd made to each other that which ever one survived the other would play The Ventures "2,000 Pound Bee" at the funeral. We agreed.

Then, I kept thinking. I do not want my funeral to be a sob fest. Even if I were to die tomorrow in some freakish accident, I would only want my friends to gather to remember me, tell stories about me, sing and laugh. To that end, I am currently working on my own "Funeral Burn". The first song will be Paul McCartney's "Dance Tonight". I like the irony of such an upbeat song at a funeral. I also have Parliment's "Give Up the Funk", J. Geils Band "Love Stinks" along with lots of Sinatra, blues, Al Yankovich, Alan Sherman....well, you get the idea.

I picture a keg set up next to the casket. In the casket I would by lying in repose dressed in jeans, Hawaiian shirt with my "Village Idiot" t-shirt underneath, a cigar clamped in my teeth and my Elvis shades on. I want something that, with a combined effect, would make my sisters just stand there shaking their heads and sighing.

While not a binding contract for my funeral, I would suggest to anyone who attends and finds anything different than this to simply stand up and start singing the theme to "The Muppett Show". You would have my eternal thanks.

I kept these quick notes during the Superbowl commercials today.

The Trailer for "GI Joe" looks interesting...much better than I had thought in another "reboot" movie season.

Jason Statham's Audi commercial was better than any movie he has made since the original "Transporter".

Pepsi - "Forever Young" Perefect for us baby boomers. The "I'm good" was laugh out loud funny.

Free Doritos had a good punchline

Bridgestone tires with Mr and Mrs Potatohead could have only been funnier if it had been the people who voiced them for "Toy Story". The ad on the moon was very, but did they really have to put the disclaimer "not to try this on your own"?

Castrol's grease monkeys was very funny. You can never go wrong with monkeys!

"Land of the Lost" looked OK, I just hope it isn't "Bewitched 2"

Go Daddy....can't say much wrong with Danika Patrick in a shower!

Pedigree's pet adoption drive was cute.

Each of the Budweiser commercials were as good as ever.

Star Trek.....I so hope this movie is good.

Cars.com was a well written narrative.

I was disappointed the Pixar hadn't produced a new trailer for "Up".

NBC had some great promos. Jay Leno promo was cute. The Thursday night LMAO promo was VERY funny. Monday night's karaoke was great.

I love the cgi Cheetos cheetah.

The Heroes NFL promo ROCKED!

Monster.com with the guy working under the backside of the moose was very good and hot home with yours truly.

Cash4gold.com was funny although Ed McMahon looks as if they rolled him out of the home.

The Coke Zero take off on the Mean Joe Green classic commercial was just as classic.

I was annoyed by the GE commercial using the blatantly lifted voice of Ray Bolger as the scarecrow from "The Wizard of Oz" for some creepy looking electronic CGI scarecrow.

The Hulu spot with Alec Baldwin was fantastic. Attention grabbing and funny.

Pepsi must have thought that the "MacGruber" skit from SNL was funny.....they were wrong.

My choice for best commercial; Hulu.

It has been a week since the inauguration of President Obama. It has taken me this long to digest my feelings on the day.

First of all, Justice John Robert. DAYYYYMMMMMMMM! What a dumbass. I have had that oath memorized since 4th grade. Obama, a Harvard Professor, I am sure also had it memorized for just as long. As he stood there, hand raised, you could see in his eyes that Obama was thinking, "Don't make me slap you with this hand!"

I was slightly disappointed in the speech which was more like a State of the Union than an Inaugural. Inaugurals are supposed to be the president's vision for his administration. It is supposed to be filled with allusions and a painting of words not a detail of plans; there will be plenty of time to get into all of that once you're actually in the Oval Office.

Granted, Obama has allot of hope and hype built up around him but he has given much better speeches. Political junkies like me can either quote large sections or, at least, sing along with Kennedy's Inaugural. When Kennedy's tenor voice yelled out that day for everyone listening to join him in the challenges ahead you were ready to jump to your feet and hit the ground running. This speech ended with the trite and boring "...and God bless the United States of America."

There were good spots and it reads on the page better than he delivered. Possibly he was nervous. Who wouldn't be standing in front of 2.5 million people? Missing from this speech was his "Sunday morning preacher" cadences; he seemed to be rushing through the whole thing.

Repetition and sets of three on a theme are basics in good speech writing. There are examples in this speech:

For us, they packed up their few worldly possessions and traveled across oceans in search of a new life.
For us, they toiled in sweatshops and settled the West; endured the lash of the whip and plowed the hard earth.
For us, they fought and died, in places like Concord and Gettysburg; Normandy and Khe Sahn.

There are beats and moments for emphasis which are built into these phrases, yet the plowed through each phrase as if it were one complete sentence.

The slams on the previous administration were just enough; he paid respect to W in his opening but made it clear there's a new sheriff in town.

My favorite section; which again reads better on the page than Obama's express delivery was:

We remain a young nation, but in the words of Scripture, the time has come to set aside childish things. The time has come to reaffirm our enduring spirit; to choose our better history; to carry forward that precious gift, that noble idea, passed on from generation to generation: the God-given promise that all are equal, all are free, and all deserve a chance to pursue their full measure of happiness.

We are not just entitled to "the pursuit" of happiness but "full measure of happiness".

EXCELLENT!

The one thing which is VERY apparent is that we have a President who KNOWS how to deliver a speech which does not sound like a used car sales pitch.